Plea to the Good People Who Don’t Understand

On a subject that may seem random to you but has been bombarding my life lately–I love you all, but it actually hurts and angers me when people use the term rape to describe decidedly NOT rape situations. I think most people have no idea how their unfunny glibness about rape comes across and would never say such things if they did.

I understand it’s hyperbole, but it ends up triggering my own PTSD (and who knows how many others’), all for a silly joke or for wordsmithing. Some of you may not know what this means; it means that, depending on the day, your casually thrown out rape hyperbole or joke can send me pitching back into waves of fear and anxiety, cause my stomach to clench and my breaths to shallow, cause my concentration and focus to go AWOL momentarily or for an extended period of time, bring on uncontrollable tearfulness and sadness…just to start. And I’ve been quite recovered and thriving in my life for many years now; I can’t even imagine the effect on someone who’s newly trying to cope.

They say 1 in 3 women in the US will be sexually abused, assaulted, or raped sometime during their lifetime. Based on knowing a lot of women and their stories, I believe this unfortunate statistic to be true. What I’m trying to say is please please please think about how what you say randomly, casually, jokingly even, can have a horrendously negative effect on the women (and some men) you know and love.

Being taken to the cleaners legally or financially is NOT the same as a woman being subjected to this life-threatening, violent crime.


2 thoughts on “Plea to the Good People Who Don’t Understand

  1. I”ve been trying to get the men in my life to stop saying this. Thank you for putting it more eloquently than I ever could have.

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